His Phoenix

My lovely mother informed me that the blog was real slow to load. I think I repaired the problem… but I need your input to let me know if it is loading ok for you.  Thanks bunches!

I recently saw a wonderful movie with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman called “The Bucket List” and I have added it to my “You must see it” recommendation list.  Not to give much away but it is about two gentlemen who meet up in the hospital in the cancer ward. They have a mutual dislike for each other at first… then they come to terms with life and things in general, but it is Morgan Freeman’s Bucket List that make them fast friends.

I think that we all should have some goals in life… no matter how old you are. We, as humans have a need to be needed or a need to have hope. Goals have a temdancy to give one hope in an off handed way. I have given my thoughts on hope in the past… but this is different. Listed below is my own personal, but realistic, Bucket List. I will probably add more as time goes on and my goals change. Another thing that brought this out today was the news of the death of a gentle soul whose outlook on life never wavered, even in the face of death. You can read about Randy Pausch here and by all means look him up on YouTube and listen to his Final Lecture. You will be inspired… I promise.

My Realistic Bucket list

1. Get a tattoo (I have an appt to get this on 8/16. More to come)

2. Meet my best friend face to face

3. Lose 100 lbs

4. Travel to Oregon to see my step-brother

5. Travel to Michigan to see my other step-brother

6. Travel to Florida to find my other step-siblings that I have never met

7. Ride a horse again

8. Own my first ever new car and get it myself without a co-signer

9. Get, train and show a Bouvier De Flanders or Doberman (still undecided)

10. Win the lottery… a long shot but always possible (with what I would realistically do with the winnings)

• Buy or build my own home
• Buy or build my parents a home on the same property
• Buy a motorhome
• Quit my job
• Open a trust fund for my youngin
• Travel, travel and travel some more

11. Live long enough to see my sons first child

12. See Ireland (Not so realistic since I can’t fly, sigh, but there is always hope.)

13. Cure 2 personal, but annoying maladies. (Neither are life threatening, but seriously annoying, not to mention embarrassing and that is all I have to say about that.)

14. Get a hug  and a kiss from someone on the other side of this continent. (They know who they are… ’nuff said)

15. As mortally terrified of heights as I am, I have always wanted to ride in a Helicopter. I know… I’m weird.

Now that I have barred my souls realistic goals…. what are yours?

This is the only one I could get to upload. I will try again tomorrow. The only thing I can think of is maybe I am over my space (megabyte) limits. It will have 4 blooms… same as last year. I will take more pics once it blooms.

In other quick news… sorta over the flu, but other family members (that I have not been around) have come down with it too. It seems to be a fast spreading virus. My boss at work had symptoms this morning. He is calling it the plague… lol… modern day but yea, maybe. I still have the nagging cough and rough sounding voice, but I will live.

And so I have decided to sell off some of my things. Easy stuff. CD’s, books, etc. I found a new auction site that is Ebayish without the hassle. There is just one small problem… you have to search to find my stuff for sale… but I can help you out some.

Click the link to Http://upperbid.com and at the top of the page there is a search link. Click that and then search by seller. Type in *Phoenix* and it will take you straight to my auctions. I only have 16 up at the moment but there will be tons more to come. Hopefully I can make back some of the cash I spent on my now defunct business. *Crosses fingers*.

What I love about this place is that they don’t charge the seller until the item is sold. There are not that many on the site yet, but I have a feeling it will become a contender in the auction business. They take PayPal and Google Payments… but I am not signed up yet for the latter.  I am a PayPal kinda gal. Safe and easy is the way to go in my book.

Go. Browse. Take a load off. Buy something!

I am sorry I have not been here or been around to visit this past week, but I swear I have a good excuse. You see, I have been trying to recover from two illnesses that struck me at the same time.

It all started last Saturday… and I am not sure what started the first one, other than maybe I slept wrong during the night. About halfway through the day I started to notice that my left leg was aching more than usual. Usual is just a constant numb feeling from a pinched disk that I have been suffering from for several years. A car accident that could have taken my life thankfully only left me with permanent damage to my back, but most days it is tolerable. Other than stiffness when I wake up in the morning, I have, like I said above, numbness down the back side of my left leg.

Saturday it turned into an all over ache and by Sunday every nerve in my leg from the top of my thigh to my ankle was on fire. By Tuesday it hurt even to wear my jeans… the nerves were that sensitive. Today it is down to a dull roar… not normal but not as bad as Tuesday.

The second illness comes in the form of what is apparently a highly viral summer cold/flu. Hubby came home with it a week Friday and over the weekend it became a major cold for him. It spread to everyone at his job. I avoided him as much as possible, but to no avail. Tuesday, when my nerves were on fire in my leg, I got a sore throat. Wednesday, by noon, I was a goner. No energy, and I felt like I was literally dying. My heart would not stop racing and later tha evening I could not stop coughing. I left work Wednesday mid-day, stayed home Thursday, but no matter what I did, I could not lay down and sleep. Every time I did I coughed up a lung… at least it felt that way.

Friday I bucked up and went into work, but that was a mistake… again by noon I had to leave. My symptoms then turned to fever and I could not get warm. Any cold air felt like an artic blast and even room temp water was cold. I am not one to get feverish, so this took what energy I had left to fight it. Last night I took 2 alleive and that seemed to be the ticket and I passed out. I at least slept for more than 4 hours… and I don’t think I have ever had to pee as much as I did yesterday (just thought I would throw that last tidbit in there… no idea why lol).

Today, I am covered in sweat… the least little thing causes a major sweat bucket breakout. But, at least I can get up and move around and the coughing is starting to subside. My ribs are sore… very sore… and my bed is decorated with some spilled Nyquil (I had the shakes too)… but I am better!

Hope you all have been doing ok… and I will get around to see all of you over the weekend. Hugsssssssss

Can cook popcorn! Scary eh? I try to use my blue tooth earpiece as much as possible… and now I am glad I do! Hope everyone had a safe Fourth. Hugssss!

\rant

Men, can’t live with them. They won’t let you love them and they REFUSE to communicate.

My son hates me, my hubby… meh… lets not go there and my best friend, sigh… I just not sure what is going on there. He knows all the right things to say, except when they need to be said. He knows I love him to death and would do anything for him… but certain things are kept too private. Don’t get me wrong, everyone is entitled to their privacy, but when you know that someone has been missing the hell outa you and misses chatting… well, dammit, next time warn me.

I can never call at the right time. I never seem to be able to text at the right time and I feel awkward as hell interupting someone. I have a hard enough time carring on a conversation as it is and if I feel as though I am bothering someone? Well, I go silent. One way conversations are just fucked up.

How bad is it that I have just 4 people that I talk to on the phone? 1 My mother, 2. My step-daughter (that I never talk to), 3. My best male friend, 4. My best girl friend. I have my home number as 1 of my fav 5. I am a sad, pathetic creature.

Between my hubby chasing away most of my friends and me not keeping up with the rest… there just is no one to chat with anymore outside of those 4. My kid only calls me when he wants something or when he is late getting home. My best girl friend doesn’t particularly love my hubby… so we hardly ever talk and I try to call my mom as much as I can between teenager problems and work.

My times to talk freely are far and few between. I have never felt truly confortable talking to anyone in front of the hubby. I don’t know why… so don’t ask. He constrains me for lack of a better word. My thought patterns do not function properly when he is sitting near. Most times, I just get up and move to another room… but then I feel sorta guilty doing so… not that I am doing anything wrong… it just frees that weight of him being near.

Oh well… maybe in the next life.

/rant

On the good news front…

The pest got his own place and moved out. Now if he would just get all his shit out of the way… and not come over here every day I would be that much happier.