I just have been under some stress the last few weeks, and these days I tend to crawl under a rock, instead of letting it bother me… which means of course, that I don’t write much… or call anyone for that matter. I feel like I might catch someone at the wrong time… and in my mothers case… she has changed her number so much lately, that I didn’t have the right one for a couple of days.

I get chastised for not writing e-mails… but somehow that seems impersonal and it is hard to get the intended feelings correct. To put it in as few words as possible, I have been just a little depressed. It is the same ole SS, DD and it grates on me at times. I don’t want to be a whiner here… and I try my best to keep things upbeat, so when I get down… I hide.

Anywhooo, the kid made it through his ISS with flying colors. He didn’t do all the school work that he was supposed to do, but I only received one complaint on that and that came from his reading teacher. (He deems that less important than say math or science.) The other kid is back in school AND back on the bus, but apparently has been told under no circumstances is he to start more trouble… and this comes from not only the school staff, but also from a few of my sons, ummm… searching for right word here… “tougher” friends. Yea, we will just leave it at that, m-kay?

We just went through… and sorta still are going through a pricing change at work and that has kept me busier than a bee in a flower patch. We have certain customers that have been given extensions on the increase and I have had to keep my head on somewhat straight to make sure I don’t mess up when I am invoicing them. I also had to put in some extra hours to help with that AND to make the hours I lost when I had to leave early to pick up the kid at school. So I worked on the weekend last week and that kept me away from here and family as well, in more ways than one.

Another thing I did to to fill my “I got nothing but whine” time… is read. I heard a lot about this series, and I had already read one of her other novels and LOVED it… so I treated myself to these:

The twilight Saga… all four novels! I didn’t buy the box set, but, I read all 4 books NOVELS in 5 days! I could not put them down! This had to be a first for me and I cried, laughed and just fell in love with these books. I also ordered the movie guide and the soundtrack to be delivered upon release and I am planning a small party of people to go with me when the movie is released to the theaters. Yes, I was impressed.

In other news: My orchid is still in bloom and here is the 5th bloom that came out:

Also, my water lily bloomed, so here is 2 pics of that for your viewing enjoyment:

It now has 2 blooms on it, but I have not taken any pics yet…

Well, this is as much as I can dish for one sitting… more to come later!

Today I called the school and made an appointment with the principal (spelled it right this time Carlo! lol). My meeting time was not until 2:45, so I had plenty to stew over. The reason for making this appointment, besides the obvious, was because I received a call from the assistant principal almost as soon as I got in to work. It appears that the bus driver did not see the beginnings of the fight… just the end of it and because the fight took place 50 feet from her bus, she was told to write it up. Of course, as I said, she only saw the end of it. She wrote that my son instigated the fight. I was, once again, flabbergasted… and highly pissed to say the least.

It turns out that the principal is totally on our side, but he is bound by the rules of the school. If one gets in a fight… the other is punished too. My son did a few things wrong that he now knows better than to do next time.

1. He didn’t report the threat to the principal when he saw him the day before.
2. He put his books down in a perceived acceptance of the fight, even though he did it to save them from getting scattered.
3. He threatened, in the heat of anger, AFTER he was hit, to “kill” the boy. (A terroristic threat is a huge no-no… and he has be extremely chastised for that by me.)

Per #1: After the councilor fiasco, the principal has been going to bat for my son. He told him that he would not hunt him down, but that he wanted my son to check in with him every few days to make sure he was doing OK. My son remembered to go see him on Wednesday, but neglected to tell the principal about the threats. The principal left to go out of town that evening and so was caught off guard by the reports that he got from the school concerning my son.

Per #2: He was not aware of the no putting the books down rule.

Per #3: He got realllllll stupid in his anger and said something that he should not have and now regrets it. The principal knows it was said in anger and is not taking the threat seriously.

My son now is sort of banned from the bus. The principal told us that he wants my son to succeed and needs my son to show him that he is not making a mistake by taking the chance with him.

The new rules are:

1. He is in Alternative School at the high school for another 7 days, instead of out of school suspension. He cannot goof off, fall asleep or doodle. He has to be working on his school work at all times. He will be checked in on periodically.
2. He can ride the bus to school, but cannot ride it home. The suspension from the bus for only a half day is a concession by the school to help me out so I don’t lose my job. Also, there is hardly any gas to be had here, STILL. If a station gets gas, the lines are genormous.  They are telling us now that it will take another 2 weeks for things to get back to normal. (This means that I have to get up early in the morning to find gas before the lines start. I am below half a tank and with having to pick up the kid everyday from school, my gas will only last 2 more days. BUT, at least it has gotten me through the first two weeks of this fiasco…)
3. I have to be there to pick him up everyday by 4:30, which means I am only losing 30 minutes of work… and I worked it out to work extra over the weekend to make up my time, instead of losing a vacation day.
4. IF the youngin does not follow the rules at Alt School for the next 7 days, he will receive the remainder of his suspension at home.
5. IF he gets into trouble on the bus in the next 7 days, he will be suspended from the bus for the remainder of this quarter… until January!

Please add us to your prayers. I hope that the youngin learned from this. I know he wants to prove everyone wrong… that he is a good kid and is trying his best to do the right thing. Just 7 days more… without incident.

BTW – The other child received a much greater punishment than my child did. Much worse and he apparently is in trouble with his probation officer… yes, you read that right… his probation officer. I imagine that he will be doing some Juvy jail time before he gets to come back to school. If my guesses are correct he is doing 9 days OSS and is banned from the bus for the remainder of this quarter, beyond the trouble he is in with his probation officer. He may also be sent to another alternative school… but this is all just a guess.

I received a call late Friday from the principle. He told me that he had read my e-mail and was sorry that he had been too busy to answer my calls. It turns out that he had already spoken with the councilor, but, this was before he knew all the details. As soon as I told him about the “waste of space” comment he rsponded with a “you’re kidding” and then asked to speak to my son. I guess it was to verify that she had indeed said that to him.

My son verified it and it upset the principle a lot. The kid told him it didn’t upset him as much as it felt like a humiliation because it turns out that this was said to not only my son but to another child that was pulled into the same meeting. This councilor made a few huge mistakes… both with her words and her actions by doing so in front of another student.

The principle told me to not worry about her again. He is pulling her from my sons case. He also told me and the kid that if there are any more problems with her or with anything else, that all the kid has to do is ask. That statement alone made me feel much better. He has gone over the kids files and knows that he is making huge strides over last year. He told the youngin that he was proud of him and his accomplishments.

As I had said in the e-mail, the kids grades are improved… but it is not only that, his behavior has improved as well. This time last year… actually it started the second week of school… he was in ISS almost every week. ISS=In School Suspension. It wasn’t long before he was sent to in-school second chance learning. He was so far behind last year that he never really had a chance to catch up by the time school was over. The fact that he only missed his math GCRCT by 20 points and passed the rest was a miracle in itself.

The youngin does not have a learning disability, other than ADD. Some people have the wrong impression of ADD. He is not hyper or ADHD… it is just that he is bored easily. It is a proven fact that most kids with ADD are super smart… it is just that they have so much going on in their brains at one time that it is hard to focus on just one thing at a time.

There are a few ways to “try” to control ADD. One is through diet, but that is a chancy and most often a failed thing. The other is through drugs. The drug of choice is Speed. Kids with ADD produce too much of a variant of the dopamine D4 receptor gene that speed counteracts. It can make their bodies and minds slow down… caffiene can also help with this… but that is not a viable source inside a middle school.

Below are some of the symptoms to look for in an ADD child, per Wikipedia:

Six or more of the following symptoms of inattention have been present for at least 6 months to a point that is disruptive and inappropriate for developmental level:

1. Often does not give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities.
2. Often has trouble keeping attention on tasks or play activities.
3. Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly.
4. Often does not follow instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (not due to oppositional behavior or failure to understand instructions).
5. Often has trouble organizing activities.
6. Often avoids, dislikes, or doesn’t want to do things that take a lot of mental effort for a long period of time (such as schoolwork or homework).
7. Often loses things needed for tasks and activities (e.g. toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools).
8. Is often easily distracted.
9. Often forgetful in daily activities.

The above list is my son… down to the last detail. As kids get older they can usually recognize the signs and struggle through it. My son is starting to do this. It has taken a while but I can honestly say that I am proud of the way he has changed in the last year. I just wish that the schools would recognize that these kids are not learning disabled… they just need teachers that can keep their attention. It takes another kind of teaching… one that can be a bit more animated and passionate about what they are teaching. Keep their attention and you will have kids with great grades.

todays public school system. I live in the great state of Georgia that just recently had more than 27,000+ students fail the 8th grade because the school superintendent changed the math GCRCT tests to include math that these kids had never been taught. The SAME superintendent that just won the million on “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader” on Fox. Yes, Cathy Cox.

Today, while I was at work, I received a phone call from my child. He knows he can only call when the big bosses are there if it is an emergency. When we finally hung up, the call was definitely deemed an emergency in my book.

It turns out that he was called to the councilor’s office… I was given the impression that he was pulled from the hall, but I later found out that he was called out of one of the classes that he is struggling in. Minus 1 point for the school there.

It turns out that this so called councilor deems my child a waste of school space and suggested to my 15 year old that he just quit school, since in her mind he will just be a drop out anyways. WTF???

This is MY child she is referring to. Who is she to deem any child a waste of space and further more, bring a child down to that kind of level in the first place? Councilors are there to “council” children. To help them get through the uncertainties of life and to lift them up, not bring them down below ground level!

My son is struggling in school, yes. My son is repeating the 8th grade, yes… because he failed the math portion of the GCRCT by 20 points, twice. So did 27,000+ other students in Georgia this past summer. My son is not perfect but he has been making an effort to get through this school year and get out of middle school and then to be exsposed to a woman with this kind of thinking? I think not, at least, not ever again.

Last year at this time of year my son was failing all of his classes. This year he is only failing three… and he has brought his math grade up from an F at end of school year last year to a C this last grading period.

My response to this woman was like a momma bear protecting her cub. I was furious and when I get that way… my body and mind wants to fold up and cry. To counter act that reaction, my words can have the cutting edge of a serrated knife. I let loose on her… and this was before I found out that he was a “waste of space”. Let me just point out that my words with this woman are NOT finished.

Here is what I wrote to her, the principle and his homeroom teacher this afternoon before I got the rest of the story:

Ms. [Councilor],

I am sitting here at work seething over a call I received from my son this morning. According to him, you pulled him out of the hall (not a class) and told him that he should just quit school. I am flabbergasted beyond words that a councilor would say such a thing to a struggling student, whose grades, by the way, this year over last years are improved. I am hoping that [Son] misunderstood you or that this was a stupid, moronic and misaimed ploy on your part to make [Son] try harder. I hope…

Who do you think you are? I really want to know. I have fought and struggled with [Son] and this school for longer than I should have ever had to. I know [Son] is not perfect. I know [Son] is disrespectful at times and can be a handful. I also know that he struggles to pay attention in class and sometimes falls asleep. BUT I do know that he is making an honest effort this year to pass the 8th grade. [Son] is ADD and is struggling through his disease without the aid of medication. He refuses to take it and I cannot force him to.

I should not even have to be writing this e-mail to you. YOU are the educator and mentor for these kids. YOU are the person that they should be able to look to when they are struggling. YOU are the one that should be standing beside the parent fighting to keep a child in school and to get their education.

I do not want to EVER get another phone call from my son telling me that he feels the school system is failing him. I heard honest panic and fear in my son’s voice this morning and I have done all I can this morning to rein in the tears that phone call caused.

Sincerely.

[Me]

I am tired of this public school system and their thoughts that all children should behave all the same way. When I was his age, the students were punished if they acted out and sent back to class. We were NEVER told to just quit and to stop wasting space. We were NEVER put in that kind of situation. We had teachers, coaches and staff that we could look up to and their doors were always open if we felt we were wronged by someone. The teachers cared. The staff cared and encouragement came from all corners of the school. Even the kitchen staff cared what happened to you and would give encouragement if they saw a sad or down face in the lunch lines.

Todays schools have no tolerance for failure. No tolerance for students that don’t fall into that perfect ideal of a behaved child. My son has already been forced to repeat the first grade, not because of his grades, but because he was deemed not mature enough to pass. Now, because of the Cathy Cox debacle he is another year behind and 2 years older than most of his class mates. He is singled out repeatedly because of past behaviors and is automatically deemed a bad child. These kind of things will follow him all through school and I am truly saddened that he will always be singled out.

How does one fight this kind of systematic treatment of children? We are not rich people and cannot afford private schooling. My son has already (last year) been sent to an alternative school for his behavior in class. This one thing alone is what has kept him in the 8th grade. This “alternative school” does not teach the kids. They are handed assignments and are expected to learn “at their own pace”. The problem with the alternative schools, besides the obvious, is that they are filled with criminally minded kids. Druggies, gang members, violent children and the like. This is not a learning ground for kids that are ADD or ADHD and that sre just struggling to stay on task like my son.

What do I do? Any and all suggestions are more than welcome. I will be making a trip to the school to confront this person… but what I need is a longer term solution for a good kid that just wants to get through this grade and get into high school. Kids should not have to suffer through childhood. Life is hard enough without having to struggle as a child… It is a time to enjoy life before the struggles of becoming an adult hits you in the gut.

David Cook won! I really, really hoped that for once the voters would get it right, and they did. Tonights show was exactly what I needed. It was great to see George Michael again after 17 years. He looks great and still sings wonderfully. My topper (besides DC winning) was seeing him sing with ZZ Top. I love that band! My cell music player is loaded with all their songs. Their music is upbeat and dancable and that always brings my spirits up.

This past week has been somewhat of a hell on earth but a wise friend told me to stop blaming myself, and I know he is right. My heart has been bruised and broken, but I will recover like the Phoenix I am. I will rise up from my own ashes of my own making. I can’t make someone do what they do not want to do, but that doesn’t mean I have to stop trying. If I give up on this person then I would not be able to live with myself. My love is too great for that to happen.

XOXO

Phoenix

I will put these up and let you all see what my vacation was like…

What else do I need to say?

Carlo

Well, I have been REALLY busy this last week-and-a-half. I didn’t talk about it, but I have been waiting for my daughter to get here from Germany, and, once she did, we went up to visit my son. I got to see both of my kids together for the first time in more than two years. After we got back to Oklahoma (where the wind comes rolling down the plains [sorry]), my mother came out, and we have been doing a lot of stuff together.

My daughter has met some of my friends, and she adores most of them. Of course, she doesn’t like it much when I talk about women, but that’s to be expected, because my ex treated her like crap.

Basically, my daughter is happy that I am me again.

Carlo

How does one motivate a 14 year old that has no wish to be motivated?

No matter what I do or say, I cannot get him to see the bigger picture.

I can’t get him to see that living paycheck to paycheck is not a life.

I cannot get him to see that the things he wants to do in life takes an education, including college.

What do I do?

His friends are not the best but I don’t think there is anywhere I could take him where it would or could be safe from drugs or gangs in this day and age.

His friends are getting arrested.
His friends are commiting crimes.
His friends are smoking, drinking and doing drugs.
His friends are overdosing and ending up in hospitals.
His friends are constantly fighting with someone and amongst each other.

I am at a loss.

Do I bribe with electronics or other “interesting” things of value to him?

Do I threaten? Promise bodily harm? Beg? Cry? Honestly, I have tried all and none have worked.

Do I try intervention from authority figures? Not tried this but considered it.

Do I make him go to church and hope that it will make him see reason? Considered this too but all it does is cause controversy in my home. I am Methodist and his father is Catholic (cough).

I am coming to my wits end and I am not sure how much more I can take.

Thanks for listening,

Feeling helpless in GA

My mom let me know this morning that my site was taking forever to load and that my comments were not working. I had forgeotten all the special patches I had in place in the old design that disappeared when I lost my side bar.

I think I have the loading problem fixed now and I know the comments are working again. Sorry about that folks!

The weekend has been full of tilling and planting of fall crops and visiting with the grandson. What a way to find a bunch of smiles.

The good news is Carlo is home in the US. He landed today and had the Patriot Guard there to greet him and his unit. All came home that left and that is all one could hope for. Thank you to all that have supported Carlo through prayers and kind words and thoughts. I know it helped get him through.

Welcome home, darlin’!

The bad news is we lost my BIL this past Thursday. He has been fighting cancer for over a year now and thankfully, he went in his sleep. The family and I will be heading down to Florida this next week for a memorial service on Friday. I will be leaving with the youngin on Wednesday to see my mom and dad for a day before heading over to the Lakeland area. The hubby and his daughter will be leaving Thursday evening to drive straight there.

It has been a good and bad week but as Carlo likes to say “It could always be worse.” How right he is.