grateful and hurt all at the same time? How does one handle it? I am not sure I know how. Just to clarify, as my missing co-author would say, I will not be moving to NC after all. The decision is no longer there to debate.
I have never loved a job, nor have I been more loyal to a job and it’s people, than I have this one. I have placed myself and my job in harms way to protect it and my coworkers. I have defended it, loved it and if it had been a person I would have divorced my old man and married it.
I helped to nurture it and watched it grow from a heavy paper user to an almost paperless office. I took what I was given; not always without complaint, but I did take it and ran with it. I never had to be coddled or watched over. I was a doer and not a worker with blinders on. If it needed to be done… it got done.
I made friends along the way and I will miss them all terribly. More than they will ever know, most likely.
Like most companies, ours is cutting back and downsizing. Even though I have seniority, my family situation was the deciding factor. They knew it would be a terrible burden on me to pack up and move and leave my family behind. They also know that it would have caused a bigger monetary hardship than I am already in.
Being the people that they are… I will be OK for a while. I will have time to look for another job in the meantime. Like I said, I am grateful, but it hurts to know that I will no longer be a part of it. That the decision was taken away from me. That I was not allowed to even try. In a way, I feel unwanted and that is what hurts more than anything. I should be used to disappointment. I have had more than my share… but this caught me off guard and needless to say, I was floored by it.
I will get over it… I always do, but this time make take a bit longer to do so. There will always be an empty spot in my heart for what could have been.
I don’t know if I should be happy or sad for you kiddo!
Wow, that must be terrible. My heart aches for you.
Sending many hugs and prayers your way.