todays public school system. I live in the great state of Georgia that just recently had more than 27,000+ students fail the 8th grade because the school superintendent changed the math GCRCT tests to include math that these kids had never been taught. The SAME superintendent that just won the million on “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader” on Fox. Yes, Cathy Cox.
Today, while I was at work, I received a phone call from my child. He knows he can only call when the big bosses are there if it is an emergency. When we finally hung up, the call was definitely deemed an emergency in my book.
It turns out that he was called to the councilor’s office… I was given the impression that he was pulled from the hall, but I later found out that he was called out of one of the classes that he is struggling in. Minus 1 point for the school there.
It turns out that this so called councilor deems my child a waste of school space and suggested to my 15 year old that he just quit school, since in her mind he will just be a drop out anyways. WTF???
This is MY child she is referring to. Who is she to deem any child a waste of space and further more, bring a child down to that kind of level in the first place? Councilors are there to “council” children. To help them get through the uncertainties of life and to lift them up, not bring them down below ground level!
My son is struggling in school, yes. My son is repeating the 8th grade, yes… because he failed the math portion of the GCRCT by 20 points, twice. So did 27,000+ other students in Georgia this past summer. My son is not perfect but he has been making an effort to get through this school year and get out of middle school and then to be exsposed to a woman with this kind of thinking? I think not, at least, not ever again.
Last year at this time of year my son was failing all of his classes. This year he is only failing three… and he has brought his math grade up from an F at end of school year last year to a C this last grading period.
My response to this woman was like a momma bear protecting her cub. I was furious and when I get that way… my body and mind wants to fold up and cry. To counter act that reaction, my words can have the cutting edge of a serrated knife. I let loose on her… and this was before I found out that he was a “waste of space”. Let me just point out that my words with this woman are NOT finished.
Here is what I wrote to her, the principle and his homeroom teacher this afternoon before I got the rest of the story:
Ms. [Councilor],
I am sitting here at work seething over a call I received from my son this morning. According to him, you pulled him out of the hall (not a class) and told him that he should just quit school. I am flabbergasted beyond words that a councilor would say such a thing to a struggling student, whose grades, by the way, this year over last years are improved. I am hoping that [Son] misunderstood you or that this was a stupid, moronic and misaimed ploy on your part to make [Son] try harder. I hope…
Who do you think you are? I really want to know. I have fought and struggled with [Son] and this school for longer than I should have ever had to. I know [Son] is not perfect. I know [Son] is disrespectful at times and can be a handful. I also know that he struggles to pay attention in class and sometimes falls asleep. BUT I do know that he is making an honest effort this year to pass the 8th grade. [Son] is ADD and is struggling through his disease without the aid of medication. He refuses to take it and I cannot force him to.
I should not even have to be writing this e-mail to you. YOU are the educator and mentor for these kids. YOU are the person that they should be able to look to when they are struggling. YOU are the one that should be standing beside the parent fighting to keep a child in school and to get their education.
I do not want to EVER get another phone call from my son telling me that he feels the school system is failing him. I heard honest panic and fear in my son’s voice this morning and I have done all I can this morning to rein in the tears that phone call caused.
Sincerely.
[Me]
I am tired of this public school system and their thoughts that all children should behave all the same way. When I was his age, the students were punished if they acted out and sent back to class. We were NEVER told to just quit and to stop wasting space. We were NEVER put in that kind of situation. We had teachers, coaches and staff that we could look up to and their doors were always open if we felt we were wronged by someone. The teachers cared. The staff cared and encouragement came from all corners of the school. Even the kitchen staff cared what happened to you and would give encouragement if they saw a sad or down face in the lunch lines.
Todays schools have no tolerance for failure. No tolerance for students that don’t fall into that perfect ideal of a behaved child. My son has already been forced to repeat the first grade, not because of his grades, but because he was deemed not mature enough to pass. Now, because of the Cathy Cox debacle he is another year behind and 2 years older than most of his class mates. He is singled out repeatedly because of past behaviors and is automatically deemed a bad child. These kind of things will follow him all through school and I am truly saddened that he will always be singled out.
How does one fight this kind of systematic treatment of children? We are not rich people and cannot afford private schooling. My son has already (last year) been sent to an alternative school for his behavior in class. This one thing alone is what has kept him in the 8th grade. This “alternative school” does not teach the kids. They are handed assignments and are expected to learn “at their own pace”. The problem with the alternative schools, besides the obvious, is that they are filled with criminally minded kids. Druggies, gang members, violent children and the like. This is not a learning ground for kids that are ADD or ADHD and that sre just struggling to stay on task like my son.
What do I do? Any and all suggestions are more than welcome. I will be making a trip to the school to confront this person… but what I need is a longer term solution for a good kid that just wants to get through this grade and get into high school. Kids should not have to suffer through childhood. Life is hard enough without having to struggle as a child… It is a time to enjoy life before the struggles of becoming an adult hits you in the gut.
Over time, the public school system has been forced to take a back seat to being a part of raising children because of parents who fought them on it. Now, they are hands off and are there ONLY to educate your child, not to teach them manners or discipline or how to study. It’s not their job to care more for your child than deemed appropriate by those who came before you and wanted them to leave their children alone because the school system is NOT the parent.
This has left kids high and dry, because parents don’t even have time to be parents. Either you need to make extra time each day to focus only on him, to teach him what the school system won’t, to train him in the areas he’s weak, or this will most definitely continue – because they won’t give your son special treatment over any other student (unless you ask them to put him in special ed classes, since students who are labeled special ed get more assistance than the “norm”).
I’ve learned that the only way to compensate for the public school system is to really be what they aren’t to your child because unfortunately, they don’t and CAN’T care anymore. That’s what has happened to the system over time, in large part, because of parents intervening in the “old ways” that used to actually work.
I am sorry for your frustration, and hope things get better for you both.
That’s so infuriating. I’m so glad your son has you. I say keep fighting the fight. Send that letter (once you have completed it) and also pass it on to the entire school board. They are the ones who hire and fire teachers/counselors and they should be informed what goes on in that building.