His Phoenix

My top ten pet peeves concerning motorists:

10. No signals (Forget what that knob is for, buddy?)

9. Tailgating (Keep it up and I am gonna drive like your granny!)

8. Swinging wide into your lane to make a turn (It isn’t a bus… geebus!)

7. Foriegn drivers (’Nuff said)

6. Speeding up to pass you, then pulling in front of you, only to slow down - slower than you were driving BEFORE they got in front of you (If you were only behind me… grrr)

5. Getting cut off by last minute turns from 4 lanes over! (I think you have had one too may there, IDIOT!)

4. They are turning left and you are turning right… you have the right of way, but they cut you off because they don’t know the law (Ummm, oh NO you didn’t!)

3. Women who use their car to put on makeup while they are driving (Your bathroom is at home, Beotch!)

2. Men who slump down so far in their seats so far that they can’t see where they are driving (Last I time I took the test, you had to be able to see OVER the steering wheel… damn kids!)

and my number 1 Pet peeve (drum roll please…)

1. People who drive expensive cars that think they own the road and drive like they own the road AND HAVE to be in front of SUV’s because they think they will miss something… but if you weren’t tailgating me you could see that I am having to brake because some asswipe is suddenly turing in front of me without signaling! (#@%$&*%$#**^%$#) [read between the symbols]

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