of all this has been not being able to talk person to person to the people I care about. I can’t truly convey my inner emotions in a text message and I am never alone to do otherwise. I have so many pent up things to say… stuff that I have been holding onto for weeks. This has been the major cause of my stress… holding things inside and fearing that if made angry it will boil over onto an innocent soul. It is times like these that bring on the blackouts and I hope that my patience and age will get me through it.
I managed to get out of the house alone last night for a short while. I had to fight with the youngin to go alone. Once out I took the first opportunity to call someone that is not exactly unbiased but who has an ear and always good advice. I caught him at a bad time and could not get off my chest what I needed to. I knew he could not help that he was busy and that I picked a bad time. This knowledge didn’t help. Fighting my emotions is just not something I do well.
He tried to reach me later, but by that time I was back at the house with too many suspicious ears. I am sorry I could not call back or answer the phone. Maybe another time…
I CAN get through this on my own but I cannot swear to what condition my emotions will be in by the time the gavel falls and the pest with his evil sneakiness is out of my house.
My new Mantra: I can get through this, I CAN do this and I know I am not really alone.
Yes, you can get through it, and if there is anything akin to justice down there, the ‘pest’ will be summarily dealt with as he deserves.
“Long is the way, and hard, that out of hell, leads up to light.”
Often have I written this to others, many is the time I have quoted it to myself.
We are often given just a tad more than we can handle on our own, in an attempt to have us call on He who can help us, more….
Whilst prayer and I are oft strangers, I have been praying for you and yours young lady.
Sometimes you are forced to do what you don’t want to so go to court and get it over with and hopefully the stess will go away.
You need a big punching bag or a big burlap sack you and stuff the tenant inside to beat on with a baseball bat.
Will be praying for you tomorrow…..Go in looking gorgeous, in your best clothing, looking fabulous……and kick ass!!! And call me if you need to talk.
My mother told me something a loooooooooooooooooooooong time ago something that I never seem to remember at the appropriate time…
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the strength to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”
You cannot change a lot in this situation, so try to accept them. You ARE changing what you can in the only way possible. All you need to do is understand which is which so that you don’t lose your mind over small stuff.