His Phoenix

Blind, now I see,
Truth, lies and in between.
Wrong can’t be undone,
Slipped from the tip of your tongue.

Blue on black,
Tears on a river,
Push on a shove,
It don’t mean much.
Joker on Jack,
Match on a fire,
Cold on ice,
A dead man’s touch.
Whisper on a scream,
Doesn’t change a thing,
Doesn’t bring you back.
Blue on black.

- “Blue on Black” by The Kenny Wayne Shepherd Band

OK, I am in rant mode. You see, I have been thinking back to a time before I was as emotionally, errrrrr, stable, yeah, that’s a good word, as I am now. I have been thinking about my ex-wife and how she lied to me, and, by the way, lied to one of her best friends, before we split up.

OK, OK, I have to give you a little history. I got back from Iraq the beginning of September and I went on leave (that’s military speak for vacation) up to Michigan to visit my son. I was there visiting him and the family that is watching him because my ex deployed to Iraq this past summer, and I didn’t have a place for him to live, nor did I have him registered in school, etc. So, I went up there to visit and I have to say that I learned a lot. I learned that he is with a wonderful family that loves him very much (he is staying with his God-Mother and her husband and kids). I learned that my son is a wonderful boy that has more strength of character and more heart than some of the adults that I work with. And I learned that my ex has been telling her new husband (yes, she got married while I was deployed, that’s a totally different rant) that all of the blame for our marriage falling apart could be laid at my feet.

That’s the background. Before I go any further, I have to say that I have been feeling VINDICATED since I got back. You see, my ex’s new hubby called her friend (I am avoiding naming names to protect the guilty) and asked her, “How did [Carlo] change that caused the marriage to fail?” Normally, you would say that this is a hot-button question, but my son’s God-Mother is an open and honest woman. She believes in the philosophy of, “Don’t ask a question that you don’t want the answer to.” So, she gave the answer. She said (I am paraphrasing, here), while she didn’t see the day-to-day things and she didn’t know all of the details, as far as she could see, I hadn’t changed. (Carlo begins cheering and jumping around)
VINDICATED!!!!!!!

At last, I have a neutral party’s viewpoint that SHE QUIT ON THE MARRIAGE! I wish I could explain how much I needed to hear that.

I also learned that there are other friends that believe that my ex is dealing with a lot of demons. There is only one thing that I want to say to her…

“The only consistent feature of all your dissatisfying relationships is you.”

I know that it’s cold blooded and harsh, but sometimes the truth hurts.

Carlo