Something has changed
Most times I think it is me
But I am not sure anymore
I keep losing things I love
Not just people
but things also
Pool league, laughter,
confidence
yes, laughter is a thing
most precious
but I can’t find it
many days
come home and dread it
you know it is coming
the hatred
life out of control
anger mostly
at nothing and everything
fighting… it just hangs there
in the air like a thick fog
can’t break it
can’t breathe
just want to escape it
and can’t
I need my own Shepard Book
He is there or here
depends on how you look at it
just a phone call away
then smiles come
if only for a brief time
never long enough
my own fault for
wanting too much
“Lord, I’m walking your way,
Let me in for my feet are sore,
My clothes are ragged,
Look in my eyes, Lord,
and my sins will play out in them
as on a screen,
Read them all.
Forgive what you can
and send me on my path
I will walk on til you bid me rest.”
Can I wait that long?
No
Is it wrong to want happiness now?
Love still escapes me
or has it?
I want to love
find peace
but not alone
not too much to ask
is it?
I have been alone far too long
alone in the madness
that is my home
but not home
not comfortable here
not happy
but I don’t want to be alone
anymore
Oh my, someone had a rough week. Glad you can unload here.
Trouble is, we are ‘all’ alone always. Others can feed your soul, but one must learn to feed it by themselves or never be truly happy. Be comfortable in your own skin…and love yourself before you can truly love someone else.
IMHO
We’re all entitled to have an off-day/week…even month. Chin up
In the words of a parody song from the 1970s…”take heart that amidst the deepening gloom, your dog is finally getting enough cheese, and that whatever your lot in life, it could only be worse in Milwaukee..”
Okay, I think I slaughtered that quote a tad…a touch…a bunch…but eh, you get the ideer
As for having a soul “lost”, adapt as I do Murphy’s Law of Lost: if you don’t care where you’re at, you’re not lost…
Wandering in circles Skunk…