“Smooth”

I was going through the videos that I have on my computer and I discovered that I have the “Supernatural” video that Carlos Santana did from his album of the same title that he performed with a number of different artists. I think the song that is most commonly known from that album is called “Smooth,” with vocals by Rob Thomas. Well, I was watching that video and I came across a line in the song that I think is very appropriate to what I’ve gone through the last couple of weeks, so I thought I would share.

“Give me your heart, make it real, or else forget about it.”

This line pretty much sums up in my frustration with the majority of my intimate relationships with women. You see, I always got the impression that the relationship was not completely “real” because the person I was involved with either had not given me their heart or they wanted something from me that they knew I was unwilling to give. For example they wanted me to change in ways that would make me someone other than myself. Now, I talked about “honesty” in a previous post and I explained how that would make a woman, no matter how physically attractive, truly beautiful in my eyes. This is the kind of dishonesty that drives me crazy.

I once heard a statement that has stuck with me for a number of years, “Men marry women for what they are; women marry men for what they can change them into.” I do not know if this is an accurate quote, nor do I know if it is actually true, what I know is that I get the impression that this is the way that some women think.

OK, OK, my experiences are not the best in the world and I may or may not be typical in my opinions. What I do know is that the women that I have been involved with have seen things that they wanted change in me and immediately set about trying to do that. A perfect example is my latest ex wife. Going into the relationship I told her that if she wanted me to do something she had to tell me what it was if you need something done all she had to do was say so and I would do it. But then she decided that “testing” me would be something that she thought was appropriate. She would leave things on the counter, dirty glasses and such, and wait to see if that if I’d noticed them, and when I did not shoot through it in my face if we get into a disagreement. She did all of this in spite of the fact that I had told her when we started to date that I did not take hints, I did not read the minds, and I did not “just know” what she wanted me to do.

This is not some bitter rant about my ex wife, I am just using my own life experiences as an example of what some women seem to want to do to men.

The line in the song that I quoted above talks about the honesty that I have always looked for in an intimate relationship and never found. This same honesty that I have found in a number of my friendships with women and that I appreciate in those friendships more and more as I get older. Unfortunately, those friendships are all with married women that live at least 500 miles away from me. This is why me being ready to go out and make new friends, or at least new acquaintances, is such a big deal for me.

So ladies, I guess as an addition, or an addendum, to that previous relationship post, you can add honesty to your significant other as another thing that can make you truly beautiful. Or to quote Carlos Santana, “make it real or else forget about it.”

Carlo