Comments on: I am at a loss… http://his-phoenix.com/2006/08/12/i-am-at-a-loss/ Ashes? We don't need no stinkin' ashes! Thu, 12 Aug 2010 21:57:48 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: david http://his-phoenix.com/2006/08/12/i-am-at-a-loss/comment-page-1/#comment-119 david Tue, 15 Aug 2006 15:32:15 +0000 http://his-phoenix.com/2006/08/12/i-am-at-a-loss/#comment-119 wow - too many thoughts going thru my mind to fit into one comment space. Glad you have BIL to help w atty, will pray for you and your niece. wow – too many thoughts going thru my mind to fit into one comment space. Glad you have BIL to help w atty, will pray for you and your niece.

]]> By: Gidget http://his-phoenix.com/2006/08/12/i-am-at-a-loss/comment-page-1/#comment-116 Gidget Mon, 14 Aug 2006 16:38:46 +0000 http://his-phoenix.com/2006/08/12/i-am-at-a-loss/#comment-116 Ditto what Carlo said. It's much easier when you can share the financial and emotional difficulties. Just make sure she stands up for herself, and lets the lawyer know that she has a stable job, house etc. Ditto what Carlo said. It’s much easier when you can share the financial and emotional difficulties. Just make sure she stands up for herself, and lets the lawyer know that she has a stable job, house etc.

]]> By: poopie http://his-phoenix.com/2006/08/12/i-am-at-a-loss/comment-page-1/#comment-109 poopie Sun, 13 Aug 2006 22:39:00 +0000 http://his-phoenix.com/2006/08/12/i-am-at-a-loss/#comment-109 I left a twenty year marriage for many of the same reasons..and because I deserved better. It will be painful, but she ( and you ) can do it. I'd rather be alone, like I am now, than with someone I have to take care of. ;) I left a twenty year marriage for many of the same reasons..and because I deserved better. It will be painful, but she ( and you ) can do it. I’d rather be alone, like I am now, than with someone I have to take care of. ;)

]]> By: Ivy http://his-phoenix.com/2006/08/12/i-am-at-a-loss/comment-page-1/#comment-107 Ivy Sun, 13 Aug 2006 07:29:07 +0000 http://his-phoenix.com/2006/08/12/i-am-at-a-loss/#comment-107 I cant help but agree with walker, semitough, and Carlo.. Very smart people here! I cant help but agree with walker, semitough, and Carlo.. Very smart people here!

]]> By: Carlo http://his-phoenix.com/2006/08/12/i-am-at-a-loss/comment-page-1/#comment-106 Carlo Sun, 13 Aug 2006 02:34:11 +0000 http://his-phoenix.com/2006/08/12/i-am-at-a-loss/#comment-106 You know what? You both ought to get together, move out of your situations and get an apartment. Then you can be away from the people that are causing most of your problems, and the money situation isn't as difficult as going it alone... You know what? You both ought to get together, move out of your situations and get an apartment. Then you can be away from the people that are causing most of your problems, and the money situation isn’t as difficult as going it alone…

]]> By: semitough http://his-phoenix.com/2006/08/12/i-am-at-a-loss/comment-page-1/#comment-105 semitough Sun, 13 Aug 2006 02:08:46 +0000 http://his-phoenix.com/2006/08/12/i-am-at-a-loss/#comment-105 What this girl needs is a good lawyer. First to get her out of jail and clear of these charges, second to try and save her home from confiscation, and third to get her out of this so called marriage. What this girl needs is a good lawyer. First to get her out of jail and clear of these charges, second to try and save her home from confiscation, and third to get her out of this so called marriage.

]]> By: walker http://his-phoenix.com/2006/08/12/i-am-at-a-loss/comment-page-1/#comment-104 walker Sun, 13 Aug 2006 00:19:41 +0000 http://his-phoenix.com/2006/08/12/i-am-at-a-loss/#comment-104 I am going to tell you something first so that you know where the comment is coming from. I am an ex drug dealer (pot) and was on for 15 years. That’s said, your niece should have left him along time ago. I know the vows state for better or for worse but nightmare is what this sounds like and that wasn’t in the vows. He not only doesn’t care about himself he definitely doesn’t care about her or he wouldn’t be getting her into trouble. He sounds selfish. I think the main focus here should be on getting her out of jail and with people that care and love her. What she looses at this point is not relevant, her freedom is. I don’t see her going to jail especially when the judge sees her record next to his. It will obviously show that she has not been in trouble. Using her work record, it could be shown that she worked for her house also and he has no work record. All is not lost yet. Just remember, material property can be replaced but a life can’t. I see him at the beginning of his stage right now and he is only going to get deeper and deeper and if she stays with him then he will bring her down with him. He is weak and will succumb to his weaknesses forever. She may become a user herself if she hasn’t already, it’s only a matter of time before the frustration turns into defeat and not caring takes over. It’s up to you and the rest of her family to open her eyes for her to take a good look at what she has and why she is loosing it. She needs to leave him. One way love is not love, it’s self inflicted slavery and abuse. Get her out of jail and get her out of that marriage before she forgets how to smile. These are just my opinions I wish her the best of luck :) I am going to tell you something first so that you know where the comment is coming from.
I am an ex drug dealer (pot) and was on for 15 years.
That’s said, your niece should have left him along time ago.
I know the vows state for better or for worse but nightmare is what this sounds like and that wasn’t in the vows.
He not only doesn’t care about himself he definitely doesn’t care about her or he wouldn’t be getting her into trouble.
He sounds selfish.

I think the main focus here should be on getting her out of jail and with people that care and love her.
What she looses at this point is not relevant, her freedom is.
I don’t see her going to jail especially when the judge sees her record next to his.
It will obviously show that she has not been in trouble.
Using her work record, it could be shown that she worked for her house also and he has no work record.
All is not lost yet.
Just remember, material property can be replaced but a life can’t.
I see him at the beginning of his stage right now and he is only going to get deeper and deeper and if she stays with him then he will bring her down with him.
He is weak and will succumb to his weaknesses forever.
She may become a user herself if she hasn’t already, it’s only a matter of time before the frustration turns into defeat and not caring takes over.

It’s up to you and the rest of her family to open her eyes for her to take a good look at what she has and why she is loosing it.
She needs to leave him.
One way love is not love, it’s self inflicted slavery and abuse.
Get her out of jail and get her out of that marriage before she forgets how to smile.
These are just my opinions
I wish her the best of luck :)

]]> By: Vickie http://his-phoenix.com/2006/08/12/i-am-at-a-loss/comment-page-1/#comment-103 Vickie Sat, 12 Aug 2006 23:37:02 +0000 http://his-phoenix.com/2006/08/12/i-am-at-a-loss/#comment-103 Wendy- As I read this I feel your pain which is not unusual because you are one very loving and caring person. I know little to offer you or say other than I will keep her as well as you in my thoughts and prayers. I also would like to remind you after the scare with a friend of mine this weekend we all need to take care of ourself. Please make certain you are doing that for you as well as for me. You have become one very important friend to me. Sending special thoughts and love your way. :) Wendy- As I read this I feel your pain which is not unusual because you are one very loving and caring person. I know little to offer you or say other than I will keep her as well as you in my thoughts and prayers.

I also would like to remind you after the scare with a friend of mine this weekend we all need to take care of ourself. Please make certain you are doing that for you as well as for me. You have become one very important friend to me.

Sending special thoughts and love your way. :)

]]> By: momcarver http://his-phoenix.com/2006/08/12/i-am-at-a-loss/comment-page-1/#comment-101 momcarver Sat, 12 Aug 2006 15:58:59 +0000 http://his-phoenix.com/2006/08/12/i-am-at-a-loss/#comment-101 I wish I could help, but for knowing that you were in the same spot a few years ago.....except for not being arrested yourself. I will send prayers for her. Think at this time..is all you can do too. I wish I could help, but for knowing that you were in the same spot a few years ago…..except for not being arrested yourself. I will send prayers for her. Think at this time..is all you can do too.

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