Sometimes the laughter in mothering is the recognition of the ironies and absurdities. Sometime, though, it’s just pure, unthinking delight.
Barbara Schapiro
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Sooner or later we all quote our mothers.
Bern Williams
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A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
Dorothy C. Fisher (1879 – 1958)
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Today is a very special day for someone very special to me – my mother. She raised me as best she could as a single parent. Some times she could not afford to feed us both. Those times she would put me in the care of aunts, uncles and sometimes with my grandmother. This was not a bad thing; in fact it turns out that by doing so, she created many loving “parents” for me. By staying with family I was kept safe from harm. From them I learned different living habits, different ways of parenting and different ways of showing affection. One thing I was never without was love. I never had to wonder, as some kids do, where my mother was or if she loved me. I knew she did. She loved me enough to keep a roof over my head and food in my tummy.
There were times when I got older when we would struggle to put a meal on the table. I went to work at an early age to help keep us with shelter and food. We struggled, but we struggled together. Many days I can remember empty cabinets and refrigerators. The only food we could afford was eggs, bread, milk, mayo and peanutbutter. Still, with all the struggles, we had fun. We talked to each other and not at each other. I could talk to her about anything. I was never embarrassed to talk about sex or boyfriends. I learned to be independent and strong-willed. I learned to take care of myself through her.
Sometimes I was the child and rare occasions I was the parent. My mother had a flighty side to her. She could not stay in one place for very long. This was hard on me, but it also made me stronger. When I didn’t have friends, I could always count on her. She was then and is now my mother, my best friend and confidante. Once when she had fallen down a flight of steps and broken her back, it was me that took care of her. During that time I also fell ill with german measles and double pneumonia. Somehow we managed to take care of each other. I can say that was probably our lowest point, but together we made it through it.
I was also an only child, but I had my own form of siblings in my cousins. They were my playmates and I will always be close to each and every one of them. I may not be as close now as I once was, but they still are my family and I love them all just as if we all came from the same parents. I have wonderful memories of games and bike rides. Fighting just like real sibling’s do and plenty of love too. My cousin Nancy taught me how to drive a stick shift. My cousin Gail taught me how to apply makeup. My cousins Linda, Joe and David tried to teach me how to skate (failure was not their fault lol). Joe taught me how to ride a boys bike without hurting myself. My cousin Tiffany and I were as close as they come and we shared everything. I even passed on my flute to her after I moved away so she could play in band. My older cousins Paul and Mike taught me an appreciation for the early rockers: The Beatles, Janis and Jimi. They passed on their records to me so I could listen to them.
My aunts and uncles also gave me much, thanks to my mother. A. Judy passed on her love of animals, especially horses and dogs. A. Elaine passed on her love of the arts – ceramics, drawing and painting. A. Rosalie taught me cooking skills. My U. Bud and U. Stan taught me how to play a wicked game of pool and when I got older they passed along their fine taste in whiskeys. My U. Jim taught me his love of musicals and plays and his finer taste in music. U. Richard taught me his love of Jazz. All these things I would not have learned if my mother had not allowed me to share their lives.
I spent a lot of my time with my grandmother. I learned from her so many things. A sense of family and how important it was to stay close knit. She was a good woman with a good soul. We shared many hours playing solitaire, watching TV and talking. She taught me to crochet and to sew. From her I got my gift of poetry and my compassion for others.
My mother gave me so many gifts that she is unaware of. She thinks she should apologize for the way I was brought up, but I need her to know that she did just right by me. She could not have done any better if she had a do over offered to her. I am all that I am because of my mom and I love her for that.
Today is my mothers 70th birthday, a milestone for her – and me. We have had 50 years of each others love and I hope there are many more years for us to learn and grow together with. Mom, you are my best friend, teacher, confidante, comfort zone, mother and so much more. I love you more than I can ever express with mere words.
Happy Birthday Mom!
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For your birthday I am going to create and design you a blog, so you can keep your own journal. I look forward to reading it and seeing even another side of the woman I call mother. XOXOXOXOX
