Can one compare a year to a fine wine? I guess some people can but I don’t think that is possible for me this past year. I have seen friends come and go… bloggers that have come into my life and faded away.
Ian from Its not Rocket Science was my first blogroll bud. He is a great guy who was in med school but when his graduated into his residency he poofed into nothingness. He was also the first to introduce me into Blogshares… fun for a while but it lost its glitter somehow.
Then there was Brian over at Briosphere… he is still around but has not updated his blog in months. Through him I met Jane… Over at Janes Trip. I still have hopes that now that she has gotten the big D, she will find time to start blogging again.
Brandie has changed her Blog name so many times that I had trouble finding her. She is a college student with ‘tude and I love the way she writes… but alas… I stopped going by when I was removed from her blogroll. Has that happened to you? Hurt by removal? lol I am too easily chagrinned I guess.
Lately many have “taken breaks” and fallen by the wayside. Some have returned and I am grateful that I still have them to read. Of those recently “breaking” or gone are John at Michigan Blog, Heather at This Moms Life, Max at Maxxed Out and Windfall Woman. Just got to know them and I miss them already!!
My personal life this past year has not been a heady wine either. If not for Carlo I would be in the nut house. I was taken in by a psycho woman pretending to be a man. My Gin League fell apart twice and me with them because of the he/she. At first I was afraid this person would come back under another guise… and then I just lost the heart to play anymore.
I befriended a few people there in those gin leagues. Because of my fears and stupidity I have left some of those wonderful people behind. Deckchick, SouthernBelle, Slybabe and Jassie just to name a few. They all let me into their gin families… and I let them all down. I don’t know if I am deserving of them.
It was also in the gin league I met FreedomFighter. He is a young man who is parentless and a good kid. We became close friends but for some reason I am only a bad weather friend to him. When he is down or sick… I am the one he calls for comfort. I feel more like a mother than a friend at times. My problem with him is tiny… He knows I am here when he needs that comfort zone… but when I am in need… he is not to be found. I just don’t get it. Maybe its just me…
One of the great things to happen in the past year is my Trivia friends group. I managed to gather them all together after Yahoo! took down our games. Carlo and I have our fondest memories of that time in our lives and I just could not stand for it to fall apart and be totally gone. Recently the group celebrated its 1 year anniversary. 76 members strong (still looking for some of you!) and we all are one huge family of friends. We laugh with each other and cry with each other. We celebrate the things that are happening with hugs, giggles and tears. They come here to read the blog every once in a while… and I want you guys to all know that I love each and every one of you!!
Another personal event took place this past summer. My guy that is way over on the other side of the US slipped back into my life. We talked and promised no more lies or hiding. We agreed to try to find the time to meet each other for the first time. I have known this man for over 5 years now… he has come and gone a few times… but never left my heart. He knows I love him very much… but once again he seems to have slipped away. GC… I want you to know that I am here when you decide to slip back in. I don’t know what is happening with you, but you always will have my love and support.
This past year I had made a goal of finally being free of this sham of a marriage… another goal failed. I knew my son was not ready for it and I guess I wasn’t either. I am now. 2006 is my year to finally break the bonds. My son will be 13 and I know now he can handle a two house family. Maybe it is what we both need.
This past year also brought me a car accident, and the loss of two vehicles. One to the wreck and the other just finally gave up the ghost and died on me. Someday I will be able to afford another car… LOL laughing at that one… had a mental “Yea, riiiiiiiight” running through there laughing at me!
My job has been another of the highs and lows. I almost lost my job to a woman who decided she knew more than I did about my job… and tried to get me fired. She is now gone after the bosses saw who she really was. But I stuck with it and I love what I do. I know there is not a job out there that would allow me a huge office, great pay, and a boss that is one of a kind. He is kind, big hearted and great to work for. I can go to work in jeans if need be and it is ok. If I need to take time off… it is mine for the taking. If I am sick… I can go home without fear of reprisals. Who could ask for more??
Carlo is my biggest highlight of the past year. We have become closer than ever and talk almost every day. One of the things I have noticed this year is that my depressions have been fewer and the smiles have been more easy, thanks to him. He is my rock, my Armando and my friend. Love ya babe… may it never end! 
Another loss this year was physical… the menopause took the curse away! I can’t tell you the emotional rollercoaster that took me through. I think it was then that I realized I was old. No more babies… which I wanted more than I can ever express in words. When I lost my first baby to age … I died inside. When the second one was lost after 10 weeks… well if you can die twice, I did. That is when my depressions started. I have not been the same since. But upside is no more curse!! lol You guys have it so good!
My resolutions for the coming year are:
1. Lose more weight
2. Save for the big D and make it happen
3. Meet Carlo in person
4. Excersize more
5. Get my store back up and running on Ebay this time instead of Amazon (The f’ers)
6. Buy me a new car and make sure it is in MY name.
7. Tell those I love… ‘I love you’ daily so they know I do without doubt
8. Finish my novel and book of poetry/erotica and get them published finally
9. Get a tattoo for my 50th birthday – already hunting down the right one!
10. Make a certain need a reality… Carlo knows what this one is… and I will leave it at that 
May 2006 be all it can be for all of us… and, oh yea… I love you
