Words
“The purpose of a fish trap is to catch fish, and when the fish are caught the trap is forgotten.
The purpose of the rabbit snare is to catch rabbits. When the rabbits are caught, the snare is forgotten.
The purpose of words is to convey ideas. When the ideas are grasped, the words are forgotten.
Where can I find a man who has forgotten words? He is the one I would like to talk to.â€
-Chuang-tzu
Why is it that we get so caught up in the words that the meanings disappear? Or, even worse, why is it that we refuse to say the words that will convey the important ideas to the ones that we love?
Mind you, I am not talking about the secrets that we keep from the “significant other†in our lives; I am talking about friends and family.
You see, I am just as guilty of it as anyone. You know what I mean, using words that don’t convey ideas in order to hide our moods or to imply that we are doing better than we are. In my case, I hide behind silence. I simply lie by omission. I figure that people will assume that I am “fine†as long as I don’t bring anything up.
As for the “significant other,†I have gotten into trouble by not keeping my mouth shut. You see, I figure that if you are in a relationship like that, then nothing should be off limits. Maybe I am out of line, but I have always figured that a relationship like that goes with a responsibility to one’s partner to provide emotional support. What I don’t understand is the lack of communication that some people use in a relationship like that.
I must say that I have had very few friends in my life, because I simply do not get close enough to people to open up to them the way that I figure goes with the title “Friend.†The few (poor sods, they) that I do call my friends are the ones that I listen to and support, even when I disagree with their decisions. I tell them the truth as I see it, and I give them my perspective. I also expect them to do the same. They are the people that I don’t need many words to convey the ideas that are in my mind.
Carlo
