I think that I need to share some things that might explain why I have been so introverted lately. I will admit that I have been rather selfish and I would like to apologize to certain special people for putting up with it, as well as to thank them for their unconditional support over these last few months. Gidget, Coppy, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU. I cannot say it enough. You two have allowed me to wallow in my denial, anger, self-pity, and grief. I hope that you know how important and special you both are.
Recently I was moved, by order of the US Army, from Germany to Oklahoma. The good news about this move is that my wife and son were already in Oklahoma and I was looking forward to seeing them. The bad news, and there is a LOT of bad news, is that I had to leave my daughter and my closest friends behind. I also had found out, about two weeks prior, via email, that my wife no longer wanted to be my wife and she was going to file for divorce.
Well, I am now in Oklahoma, I have spent some time with my son, and I am starting to deal with the fact that I will be single again. Mind you, I hate it, but I am dealing with it. In this case, I am taking my own advice; “It could be worse.†Please forgive me when I drop back into self-pity or anger, I apologize in advance for it.
OK, on to the observation and comment. Have you ever noticed that the first impression that you have of someone is sometimes so far off-base that, when you realize it, it slaps you in the face? An example: my future ex-wife and I went to visit my mother during the summer of 1998 (I think), and the future ex got the impression that my mom was, in her words, “classy and snooty.†I didn’t find this out until later, because, for July 4th we went to the nearest local racetrack, the Seekonk Speedway (yes, in Seekonk Massachusetts, I told you I was a Yankee from New England) to see the races, the demolition derby, and the fireworks that closed the show. It was a lot of fun. I enjoyed it, the future ex enjoyed it, and my mom enjoyed it. Later that evening, was when the revelation came about what the future ex thought of my mother. It forced her to re-evaluate her opinion and to re-think what her first impression had been.
We are all an eclectic mix of opinions, ideas, likes, dislikes and prejudices. Unfortunately, all of us (yes, even me, although I am working hard to try to change it) automatically categorize people into groups. This is definitely not a good thing to do, because it forces you to ignore the individuality of the person in order to pigeon-hole them.
To everyone that I have ever done this to, I apologize. I am truly sorry that I have not seen that you were unique and I hope that I never caused you any pain. To those that I haven’t met yet, please forgive me when I do it to you, I am trying to change, but I am still a “work in progress.â€
Carlo
