I have been wondering about something. You see, I have met a number of people, both on the internet and In Real Life (IRL), and I am trying to figure out if the fact that I cannot “see†someone online helps me to decide whether I should trust them or not. The irony of this statement is that everyone will immediately say that I shouldn’t trust anyone on the internet. I’m not so sure that that kind of knee-jerk reaction is appropriate.
You see, I have never been easy to get to know. I have always maintained a “distance†from everyone, and that distance has allowed me to not have to worry about whether they will hurt me (intentionally or not). The problem with maintaining that kind of a distance from everyone is that I never made any kind of real friendships. I have always been a little jealous of the people that I know that have kept in contact with their best friends from High School or college, and they can remember birthdays, anniversaries, children’s birthdays, etc. The reason that I was jealous of them is that I never got close enough to be able to stay in contact. I simply didn’t want to be that close, especially with moving around the world the way I have.
As a single man, I was forever chasing after the prettiest women, the ones with the most confidence, the ones that had their choice of partners. For the guys out there, you know what I mean. For the women out there, I’m sure you’ve seen it. The question here is how much of my attraction was simply based on lust? Did the chance of seeing this person change whether or not I wanted to try to become involved with her? The ironic part of this scenario is that, in the majority of these cases, the female in question proved that she was unacceptable as soon as she opened her mouth. If I could have spoken with her prior to seeing her, I would have known that. Mind you, I am not saying that I am averse to a one-night-stand with a gorgeous lady, however, if I am looking for some kind of meaningful relationship, then I want a person that is deeper than the local puddle and more intelligent than, say, your common canine.
On the flip side, I have met some people online that I find fascinating. These are the people that I have slowly gotten to know, and I have let them past my defenses. These are the people that I talk to because I want to communicate with them. Does it matter what they look like? No, I have come to care for them as people, not as sex objects, and they keep in touch with me because I communicate with them, not look at their bosoms.
I will admit, it has taken me a long time to trust them both, yes, there are only two, and, just like IRL, I have taken my time and made my choices. While the anonymity of the internet allows predators, con-artists, and other low-life scum to stay unknown and active, there is much to be said for the fact that a person meets and “speaks†with someone instead of looking at them and drooling and being led by their groin.
Honestly, as in everything, each person must make their own choices and decisions, and make it a point to get to know someone before revealing any kind of personal information. If you have a history of making bad personal choices, then you probably don’t want to take a chance on an internet “friendâ€; however, if you, like me, take your time and get to know the people that are talking with you, you can form some long-lasting and deep friendships.
